Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink
by El Queso de Malicioso
Summary: The Titans throw a party for BB’s 18th Bday and invite Titans East. Don’t miss the drama when three new romances begin while one is crushed. Much alcohol is present and great amounts of stupidity shall ensue.
1. Prologue: The Chaos Ensues

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**1. Prologue: The Chaos Ensues!**

**Author: **El Queso de Melicioso

**Series: **Teen Titans

**Genres: **Romance/Comedy

**Rated: **M – for lots of sexual content and vulgarity.

**Pairings: **BB/Ter, BB/Rae, Rob/Star, Cy/Jynx, Cy/Bee

**Summary: **The Titans decided to have a party and invited Titans East. Alcohol is present. Need I say more?

**A/N: **This one is gonna be a bit different from my other fics. It's going to be my first attempt at a third person, omnipotent POV, because there will just be too many characters, experiencing emotions at too quick a rate for me to change POV's as often as necessary.

This story is based off of an actual party I attended, so expect some horrifyingly insane things ot occure!

**Cast of Characters: Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, Cyborg, Terra, Bumblebee, Speedy, Aqualad, and Jynx.**

Beast Boy attempted to stand after drinking nearly a pint of alcohol directly from the keg, but just collapsed to the floor. All the guys, who had previously been egging him on, burst into raucous laughter, some grabbing at their sides or stomachs to sooth an impending cramp.

His girlfriend of three months, Terra tried to help him up, laughing just as much as the guys, but just dropped him to the floor again. She was smashed herself, and had already proven herself to be quite a silly drunk. Robin was teaching Starfire about the "dancing in dirt" that she was so curious about.

But, no Titan's drunken haze was more entertaining than those of Bumblebee and Jynx. The two were currently enthralled in a match of drunken wrestling. This drew the attention of a certain cyborg… named Cyborg!

But, Raven… was being her normal self. She was sitting quietly in a corner, watching the proceedings of the party with obvious disgust. "It almost makes me understand why my father wanted to destroy them all…" she muttered bitterly to herself, subconsciously glaring at Terra as she fell all over Beast Boy on the floor.

With all the commotion, only those near to the boy noticed Aqualad pull out a gigantic bottle of vodka.

"Dude!" Beast Boy shouted as he was finally able to sit up. "Where'd you get **THAT**?"

"Doesn't matter" was Aqualad's only reply as he held the bottle up for all to see. "All that matters is what we're gonna do with it!"

By this point, everybody had noticed Aqualad to one degree or another, and were all paying relative attention.

Then, Beast Boy stole the spotlight… again, by calling out "Who's up for a game of 'I never'?"

**A/N: **At first, I had been planning on just making this a **Truth or Dare** fic, but I decided to put in some more games. If you wanna suggest any games, just review or send me a PM, and I'll probably put it in… if I've ever heard of it. This story is to continue for an undetermined period of time and will have randomly occurring sexual content and vulgarity. So, if you don't like that kind of stuff, stop reading now!

Signed,

The Cheese!


	2. Chapter 1: I Never

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**2. Chapter 1: I Never…**

**A/N: **Hey, everybody! I had this chapter pre-written, so here it is, much longer than the last one!

Okay, I didn't do a very good job on this chapter the first time around. So, I'm redoing and reposting it!

It had taken awhile to organize, but eventually everybody was sitting in a circle… except for one…

"Let's see" said Robin, still trying to be leader like even though he was just as, if not more, smashed than everybody else. "We've got… " He began to run off each person's name as he pointed at them, until he was left with just nine people in the circle.

He was about to go around again, as to figure out exactly who was missing when his question was answered for him… by Beast Boy. "Where's Rae?"

Stepping slightly out of the shadows, Raven simply said "I'm not playing…" before turning back around.

Beast Boy was obviously disappointed, but he wouldn't give up that easily. "Come on, Rae! Just a couple rounds!"

Sighing to herself, Raven turned back to the group. She began to weigh her options. She could either…

**1)** Join in, get a little tipsy, actually enjoy herself a little, get a hangover, do something she'd regret, or… do something she wouldn't regret…

**2)** Not join, keep sulking in a corner, be the only one to wake up without a headache, continue to despise everyone around her, get a headache anyways from all the negative emotions that come with hangovers…

She sighed and walked over to the group and took a seat between Cyborg and Aqualad and asked "How do you… play?"

Beast Boy was the one to chime in, only the right thing since he had been the one to suggest the game in the first place. "Somebody says something they've never done. They pass the bottle of alcohol around, and whoever **has** done it, has to take a drink!"

Raven felt slightly better. Chances were pretty good that she wouldn't have to take very many drinks at all.

"I'll start" chimed in Aqualad, "since I brought the stuff."

Once again, Raven was slightly relieved. Since Aqualad was going first, she would get to go last.

Aqualad held the bottle up dramatically before beginning. "I never…" He scanned the faces around him. "… let's start heroically… committed a crime."

Raven got upset immediately as the bottle was passed around, from Aqualad, to Robin, Starfire, Bumblebee, Terra, Beast Boy, Speedy, Jynx, Cyborg, and finally, Raven. She hadn't been surprised when Robin, Jynx and Terra took their drinks, but was a little when Bumblebee did. That surprise was quickly dismissed when Raven remembered that she had once been undercover at the H.I.V.E. academy. However, the real surprise for the girl had been when Beast Boy had taken a swig from the bottle. Raven took her swallow and joined all the others in staring at Beast Boy in shock.

"You don't wanna know" was all he said as the bottle reached back around to Robin, who's turn it was.

"I never…" he stopped to think, "… sticking to the same subject… attacked a citizen."

Raven actually groaned this time as the bottle was passed around again. Terra, Jynx, Cyborg and… once again Beast Boy were the only ones to drink other than Raven. The bottle was then passed over to Starfire who had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I never… kissed anybody." All of the others shared the opinion that even though it was comically innocent, it was still a rather odd thing to come from Starfire of all people.

Beast Boy and Terra, once again took their swigs, sending a wave of annoyance through Raven's body as she found herself, yet again, glaring subconsciously. Jynx, Speedy and Aqualad also drank. It had been the first time that Raven hadn't had to drink, but oddly enough, she wished it hadn't been this particular round.

The bottle was then passed to Bumblebee who immediately entered a thoughtful position. Finally, she snapped her fingers, signaling the idea that had just sprung. "I never… kissed somebody else of the **same** sex!"

When the bottle was passed around this time, only Aqualad drank from it, eliciting laughter from most of the other party goers. Agitatedly, he shoved the bottle into Raven's hand who just passed it along. The next person to hold it was Terra, who seemed as if she wanted to outdo all the others in the circle.

"I never… had sex!" she nearly shouted in her drunken excitement. She tried to shove the bottle past Beast Boy, but he grabbed it and took a swig before passing it on. This seemed to piss Terra off slightly, but Beast Boy didn't seem like he was being cocky or like he even felt guilty. He just looked oddly… depressed. Nobody else drank until the bottle made it around to Raven who's drinking shocked the other's quite comically.

The next person to hold the bottle was Beast Boy who began instantly, "I never… consented to having sex…" and he passed it around. Nobody took a swig the whole way around, Beast Boy's declaration and Raven's agreement creating a sudden mood of discontent.

However, Speedy decided to fix that problem with his turn. "I never…" he began, rolling the bottle slowly between his hands. "… I dunno… went on a date?"

The bottle was passed around, emptying slightly when in the hands of Jynx, Cyborg, Bumblebee, Terra, Beast Boy, and even Raven. The bottle eventually made it around to Jynx, who looked absolutely giddy to receive it.

"I never… got so drunk that I threw up!" She passed the bottle to Raven who took a gigantic swig of her own, apparently deciding that getting drunk wouldn't be the worst thing after all. The bottle was also emptied slightly by Robin, Terra and Speedy.

Cyborg received the bottle next, but just sighed, saying "I dunno…" before handing it to Raven. Raven, her turn having finally arrived, just stared at it.

"What's up, Rae?" Beast Boy slurred, sincerely concerned even in his current stooper.

"Does it have to be something I've actually never done?" asked Raven, looking up to face the others directly for the first time during the game.

The others looked at eachother and Beast Boy answered slowly, "Not… technically…"

Raven nodded and finally confirmed her decision. "I never… killed anybody…" She passed the bottle to Aqualad, who passed it to Robin. He passed it to Starfire, who passed it to Bumblebee, who passed it to Terra.

"He didn't stay dead" she said quietly. "Does that still count?"

Raven nodded and Terra took a swig, before passing it to Beast Boy… who emptied the bottle a little bit more, before passing it on to Speedy. From him, it made it past Jynx and Cyborg uneventfully, but finally ended up back in Raven's hands. She looked at it for a second, before drinking down the entire remainder of the bottle's contents in one massive gulp…

Everything was silent for what seemed like hours… until the one holding the empty bottle said something never expected to come from her mouth. "Well, we've got an empty bottle. Who's up for… Truth or Dare?"

All faces in the room turned to Raven with identical expressions of shock covering them.

**A/N: **Okay, sorry. I know that one wasn't all that funny, but maybe it was made better because of it. I couldn't think of very many questions, and wanted each Titan to have a turn. The next game, **Truth or Dare** should have much more comedic value, but we'll see. I might have to turn this story into a drama or something, because dramas can have a mixture of multiple different genres thrown into one.

Signed

The Cheese!


	3. Chapter 2: Truth or Dare Part 1

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**3. Chapter 2: Truth or Dare**

**A/N: **Dude! **_EIGHT_ **reviews! That's insane man!

Ahem… well… here's the next chapter. This one's got a perfect mixture of nearly all genres, so enjoy.

"Ummm… are you sure?" Cyborg asked Raven, after partially recovering from the shock of her suggestion.

"Are you really prepared to pass up your only chance to get me to make an ass out of myself?" Raven asked rhetorically. "'Cause it **will** be your **only** chance."

All the others exchanged glances before nodding in unison. "Truth or Dare it is" Robin said, already beginning to smile maliciously.

"Good" Raven said with her own nod and slight grin. "Now for the rules."

"I'm pretty sure everybody knows how to play Truth or Dare" Jynx said impatiently.

"Yeah, but I wanna put a little twist on it" Raven replied, sending an obvious glare in Jynx's direction. "Okay… I'll start by spinning the bottle. Whoever it lands on gets asked 'Truth or Dare'. The 'Truth' option has the same meaning as always, but as for 'Dare', it can be divided among multiple different people. For instance, say the bottle lands on… Terra and she picks 'Dare'. I could dare her to do something with… say… Starfire. The only rule for this is that it has to be **one** dare… that just happens to require more than one participant. Then, it's the turn of whoever the bottle landed on." She had said all that seemingly in one breath, then just looked at the other Titans for approval. "So?"

The others all exchanged glances before Beast Boy spoke up. "Sounds… good… Rae…" And, the game was on!

Raven spun the bottle around. It seemed to spin for quite awhile, before finally landing on… "Starfire… okay, Truth or Dare?"

"I will begin with 'Truth'" the redhead replied enthusiastically.

"Okay" began Raven, entering a thinking pose. "Why are you and Robin holding hands?" she asked, noticing that in fact… the two of them were doing just that.

As if just noticing that their hands were on fire, the two pulled them away from eachother before performing various acts of embarrassment. "Ummm…" Robin began, preparing to make some kind of excuse.

"No!" Raven almost shouted. "I asked Starfire."

Starfire looked around anxiously before letting out a long sigh. "You are right, friend Raven. I cannot hold it back any longer." She turned to face Robin and grabbed both his hands into hers.

"Star…?" he began to ask before he looked up at her face.

"Friend Robin… I have had feelings for you for quite some time now" Starfire said, seeming to select her words carefully for once in her life. "I love you deeply. I was unsure of this until you saved me from being wedded by my sister to that 'ball of slime'."

Robin looked dumbstruck for awhile, before he began to smile back at her. "I think I love you too, Star" he said, pulling her in for a kiss.

The kiss lasted, according to Raven, for approximately 23.7 seconds, as all the other Titans applauded, some doing more.

When the kiss was over with, Starfire's eyes fell on the bottle still pointing in her direction. She looked back at Robin who just nodded as they returned to their original positions. Just before she spun the bottle, she looked at Raven and mouthed "Thank you."

The bottle began to spin rapidly… and it spun… and spun… and spun… for approximately an hour and a half. All had gotten a chance to remove any soberness from their systems before they sat back down in their spots, when the bottle finally began to slow.

Finally, it stopped and landed on Speedy. Starfire smiled brightly and asked the required question. "Truth or Dare?"

Speedy looked around cockily before responding "Dare."

Starfire virtually squealed with her delight. "Okay… you must… kiss… frind Aqualad!"

Speedy smacked himself as everybody else burst out laughing.

"Don't worry man!" Cyborg called out.

"Yeah, we already know!" Beast Boy continued.

Calmly but still tauntingly Raven said "Two words… high heels."

Speedy seemed to frown the most at that one. He stood up and went over to Aqualad and dropped to his knees in front of him. He lent in, intending to place a quick on the fish boy's cheek. But, he soon found his lips pressed up against the other boy's as his head was held in place by a pair of arms. He tried to pull away, but could hardly move at all. He tried to complain, but as soon as his mouth came open, a tongue shot inside.

All the others stared in surprise at Aqualad's forceful making out and Speedy's mad struggling. They were all laughing to one degree or another. But, finally Speedy was released from the kiss and fell backwards, towards his spot, looking absolutely horrified. "Remind me… never… to pick… dare… ever again!" he said loudly as he began to spit disgustedly.

"Well, when you're done, it's your spin" Robin said, finally ceasing his laughter.

Speedy looked up and grinned slightly to himself. He spun the bottle, and it landed on…

"Dude!" Beast Boy shouted, quite pleased that it was finally his turn.

"Okay, Truth or Dare?" Speedy asked.

"Dare!" Beast Boy shouted unnecessarily loudly.

"Sweet… I dare you to… take off your clothes" Speedy said grinning… oddly.

"You'd like that" Cyborg said, beginning ot laugh all over again.

Beast Boy on the other hand, didn't look so happy about the idea. "Umm… do I have to?"

"You could always take your drop out dare" Speedy replied.

"And… what might that be?"

Speedy just made the thumb and forefinger motion with one hand while pointing at Cyborg with the other. Cyborg stopped laughing instantly and Beastt Boy began to remove his boots.

He looked around uncomfortably as he began to pull off his gloves. When they were off, everybody was surprised by what they saw, especially Terra and Raven. His hands were long and thing, and had what looked like slight claws growing from the tips. He continued onto his shirt, peeling it off slowly, due to its tight fit, revealing a lightly toned abdomen covered in oddly symmetrical scars. Nearly everybody thought briefly of tiger stripes when they saw them. He was about to continue onto his pants but eyed those around him, before yanking them down and off in one fluid motion.

Everybody stared at him in shock. "What, I can't put on a show?" he asked, attempting comedy.

"I don't think… **that**… really needs a show" Raven said, eyeing the partially hardened organ between his legs.

"That's it!" Cyborg said loudly, before pulling a tape measurer from one of his random compartments. "This deserves recording."

Beast Boy just stared in horror as Cyborg literally measured his… cock. Cyborg returned to his spot and sat down, looking at the mark he had made on his tape measurer.

"Congrats man" was all he said before putting the measurer away.

"What ya' get?" Robin asked, still staring in amazement at the area between Beast Boy's legs.

"Two" was all Cyborg said.

"No way!" Terra shouted. "That's way longer than two inches!"

"I didn't say two inches" Cyborg replied.

Everybody just continued to stare in shocked astonishment.

Beast Boy tried to cover it up slightly with his hands, but that wasn't doing very well, so he decided to bring comedy back in. "I guess we know why they call me 'Beast Boy' now, don't we?"

Some people began to laugh half-heartedly, attempting to avert their eyes, but Raven and Aqualad made no moves toward looking away.

Annoyed, Beast Boy simply reached over and gave the bottle a quick flick of the wrist. When it stopped spinning, it had landed on Robin. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare" Robin replied grinning slightly.

"Good" Beast Boy replied, his vengeance prepared. He stood and left the room for awhile. He returned shortly, various parcels of clothing folded neatly in his arms. He handed one to Robin and kept one for himself, letting it unfold in his hands, revealing one of Raven's cloaks. Robin let his open, revealing one of Star's skirts and tops.

"What's this for?" Robin asked quizzically.

"Were you just in my room?" Raven asked confusedly.

"Okay, boy blunder" Beast Boy began, grinning manically. "Take off **your** clothes and put that on."

Robin looked at him confusedly. "What's yours for?"

"I'm kinda chilly" he responded bluntly, throwing the cloak over his body, cutting off some of the other's views.

Robin removed his boots and gloves without complaint. He even pulled off his jacket, shirt, and pants without quirking a brow. But, when it came to his boxers, he had some difficulty.

Raven only made it worse as she said "At least you **wwear** boxers."

Robin forced himself to drop them, then he immediately pulled the tiny skirt up his thinly muscled legs, his length poking lightly from the bottom. He yanked the top over his head and forced his arms through the holes and looked around, blushing.

"The mask" Beast Boy reminded, grinning all the wider.

Robin sighed and reached up as if to pull it off, but he couldn't even touch it. "I can't."

"You have to" Beast Boy said simply.

Robin turned to look at Starfire, only blussing more, to find that they were dressed identically. "I want you to do it" he said to her.

Starfire became instantly gleeful at this and unceremonially tore the mask off with a painful sounding **_snap_!**

And, two Titans were wearing girl's clothes.

Robin took the bottle and spun it. When it stopped, it was sitting directly between Beast Boy and Terra. "What do we do when this happens?" Robin asked, turning to Raven.

"Dunno… choose?" Raven said, shrugging.

Robin smirked and took no time in picking Beast Boy. He thought back to the progression of the game and realized that Beast Boy would've never made him crossdress if Speedy hadn't made **him** go nude. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare?" Beast Boy responded, slightly nervously.

"Beast Boy… give Speedy a lap dance."

Everybody stared at him in shock, but he just smiled maliciously.

Beast Boy shrugged, causing the cloak to fall from his shoulders. He was about to pull it back on when Robin spoke again.

"Actually… stay like that."

Beast Boy stood up slowly, trying to hide his now shrunken wanker(you try keeping it big and proud when there're people of all genders ogling it!). He approached Speedy and lowered himself onto his lap disgustedly.

**A/N: **Now for one of the true parts!

At first, he just moved back and forth slowly. But then, he was struck with the idea to make it good. He began to pick up speed, occasionally making actual contact with the crotch of the archer's pants. He felt the man under him growing hard, so he continued what he was doing. Suddenly struck by yet another idea, he flipped over and began to rub his own limp cock against Speedy's crotch, eliciting an oddly satisfying moan from the boy's throat. Beast Boy began to nearly dry hump the boy for a short while, and Speedy began to moan more frequently and loudly, his eyes shut tight. Suddenly, the archer's cock seemed to twitch as the crotch of his pants became wet and sticky.

Beast Boy, considering his job complete returned to his spot next to Terra and smirked at Robin.

Speedy just stared ahead blankly for awhile. Jynx waved her hand in front of his face, snapping him partially back to reality. "That… was… the best… I've ever gotten…" he said quietly as he stood. He walked over to the large windows and slid one open, before leaning forward and falling out.

Everybody looked at eachother, slightly shocked… then simultaneously shrugged, continuing the game.

"So, it's my turn again?" Beast Boy asked, confirming what he already knew.

**A/N: **I had been planning on getting all of **Truth or Dare** over with, but I've decided to split it over two chapters. I don't think anybody'll mind. I'll update as soon as I decide what other dares to put in.

Oh, and yes. That was a character death. I highly doubt that anybody cares, so I just killed him off. The guy that I gave a lap dance didn't actually kill himself, but he did leave. I don't know whatever became of him after that party, and honestly couldn't care.

By the way, if somebody could tell me what their favorite dare was, I'd really appreciate it!

Signed,

The Cheese!


	4. Chapter 3: Truth or Dare Part 2

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**4. Chapter 3: Truth or Dare-Part 2**

**A/N: **Okay, that was a lot of reviews… over an extremely long period of time, I'd be the first to admit, but here it is; the new update, and the conclusion to "Truth or Dare!"

I just wish to inform certain people who said that "This story kinda sux" that just because I updated doesn't mean that I passed a law stating that they had to read this fic!

"So, it's my turn again?" Beast Boy asked, confirming what he already knew.

"Yep" Raven responded, really feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Beast Boy gave the bottle a quick spin. Landing on an emotionally scarred Starfire, Beast Boy couldn't help but grin mischievously to himself.

"I select Truth" Starfire said, not wanting to fall pray to one of Beast Boy's dares.

Beast Boy seemed unaffected by this and just leaned back to think. "Ooh!" he shouted, sitting up straight. "Since you Tamaranians are so… feisty… does the same apply for… in the bed?"

Robin glared at Beast Boy as if about to strike, but the green boy's grin never faded.

"Yes… the same does in fact apply" Starfire responded, seemingly untouched by how filthy a question it really was. "I do not understand why you humans have so very many problems with your sexualities."

Everybody just stared at her… until Raven unexpectedly said "She's… got a point…"

The stare was quickly shifted to Raven who quickly created a distraction by saying "Well… it's your turn, Star!" a bit too quickly for it to have been casual.

Starfire literally squealed with glee, making Robin deaf in one ear.

She spun the bottle weakly, remembering all too well what had happened on her first turn. The bottle eventually stopped… pointing towards…

'"Oh, friend Raven!" Starfire nearly screeched.

"Dare" was all that Raven said, finding it oddly impossible to hold back a slight smirk.

"Yeah!" Starfire shouted, grabbing Raven and pulling her up to her feet, then out of the room.

For awhile, everything remained silent as the others exchanged confused expressions, wondering exactly what Star had in mind.

Finally, Starfire entered the room, but blocked everybody's views from the door with her body. "Friends!" she said exuberantly. "I would like to introduce you to the… new… improved… Raven!"

With that, Star stepped to the side revealing Raven… who looked… exactly… the same… as usual…

"Uh… Star?" Robin said in a questioning tone.

"I don't see anything different" Terra said, crossing her arms over her unnecessarily flat chest.

Suddenly, Raven stepped fully into the room and drew her hood back, eliciting a unanimous gasp from the entire group.

"Rae…" was all Beast Boy could force out.

Raven simply sat back in her normal spot, pretending that there was nothing different. But, there was. Her hair was now somehow down to her mid-back and had… green streaks!

Truly inebriated, she winked inconspicuously at BB. His jaw dropped nearly to the ground and he just stared as Raven spun the bottle.

It landed, in a way that BB had trouble accepting as a coincidence, on him. He looked straight at Raven, feeling suddenly quite daring. "Dare…"

"Okay…" Raven began, smiling far broader than she should ever smile. "I dare you to… give Aquafa-lad a hand job."

Looking at Raven like she had grown to twice her normal size, with glowing red eyes and black tentacles… again, Beast Boy's stomach shot up to his throat. "O-okay…"

He stood and approached Aquafag, who seemed all too eager, his fly already in the lowered position, showing a slightly hardened doodle. BB grimaced as he looked mortified at the organ. "Well…" he said, grabbing hold of the hungry little organ. "Here goes nothing…"

He quickly forced all thoughts to the back of his head, concentrating entirely on making his performance a good one as to entertain his friends… and Aquafag… as much as possible.

He first simply rubbed up and down the shaft, starting slow, but speeding up slightly. The contact alone seemed to get the Aquarian fully erect all on its own. Feeling oddly proud, BB sped up even more, wrapping his fingers completely around the cock,. Encasing it fully. The vast majority of Beast Boy's pride came from the fact that this thing in his hand wasn't even a third his own size. Well, at least I've got that over him, thought Beast Boy, inadvertently speeding up all the more and repositioning himself for a slightly better angle.

Completely unnoticed by Beast Boy, who's attention was currently entirely upon his current task, his own cock was hardening as well. Even though he didn't notice, all the others did. Most of them just got smirks on their faces, but Terra looked positively homicidal.

Suddenly feeling the Aquarian's member tense slightly, Beast Boy knew what was coming and repositioned himself once again. Now out of the way of harm, BB began to pump harder than before… until a puddle of sticky, white fluid formed about two and a half feet from the pair, Aquafag collapsing into unconsciousness.

What everybody… except for Beast Boy himself… were Aquafag's reactions throughout the process. Beast Boy looked at him in shock, before smirking with an odd boost in pride. He went back to sit next to Terra, but she just turned away from him. Shrugging, BB spun the bottle.

It landed on Robin who said "Truth."

BB nodded then laid back to think up a good question. Suddenly, he shot up, snapping his fingers with inspiration. "Have you… ever… pet the cat?"

Robin looked suddenly mortified, but Starfire came in with one of her adorable questions. "What is this 'cat' you speak of, friend Beast Boy?"

Raven was the one to answer this one. "It's a metaphor for masturbation." She had said it in her regular monotonous way while grinning widely at Robin.

"Who hasn't?" Robin asked, giving his answer in the most inconspicuous way possible.

Nobody answered, and all was silent for minutes. Then suddenly, the entire group burst into laughter, Raven and the previously begrudging Terra included.

In mid laugh, Robin spun the bottle and smiled as it… once again… landed on… Beast Boy. "Well, you just have all the luck?" Robin asked sarcastically.

"Well…" BB started. "Might as well hold up my reputation, right?"

"So, dare then?" Robin asked, making certain.

"Yeah, dude" BB said, rolling his eyes lightheartedly. "Dare."

Robin honestly couldn't think of anything, then spotted the unconscious body of the spent Aquafag. He leaned over to Starfire and began to whisper in her ear.

**A/N: **I'm gonna enter script format just for this part, then I'll return to normal.

**Robin: **Star…?

**Star: **Yes, Robin?

**Robin: **I'm gonna dare BB to give me a hand job, seeing what it was able to do to Aquafa-lad, I wanna see if he's as good as he made it seem.

**Star: **And, why are you discussing this with me?

**Robin: **I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it. Are you?

**Star: **Of course, Robin. We are enjoying ourselves, and I have no doubt of your love for me. Go ahead!

**A/N: **I will now be returning to the normal format. That was just easier to write in script format.

"Well…?" Raven asked, becoming slightly impatient.

Robin looked up at BB and smiled viciously. "I dare you to… give… **me**… a hand job!"

With an exasperated sigh, BB stood and walked over to Robin. At first, he was going to kneel in front of him, as he had done with Aquafag, but he was struck with an idea. He quickly rose and circled around to kneel behind Robin. For reasons unknown to the changeling, his own cock was beginning to swell just a little bit more.

Robin became nervous with the new situation and was about to complain when BB's hand wrapped fully around his only slightly hardened manhood.

BB quickly reentered his previous fast pumping motion that he had adopted late in Aquafag's turn, and Robin was rock hard far too quickly for his own comfort. He began to moan slightly at the touch, showing himself to be much more vocal than the perfectly silent Aquafag.

Struck with another idea, BB began to rub the tip of Robin's length with his free hand, eliciting a rather surprising sigh of pleasure from the personified traffic light.

He just kept up the quick paced pumping, until finally the familiar tensing and shuddering took place. With that, Beast Boy pumped as fast as he could and then sighed with relief when Robin released.

Robin looked about himself, slightly confused. At the same time, BB fell back and began to massage his overly sore thumbs tenderly.

Finally, Robin regained his composure and BB regained feeling in his left hand, and returned to his place in the circle, blushing furiously at the stares of shock and surprise aimed at him.

He quickly spun the bottle, pleased when it landed on Cyborg. Now to get vengeance for everything Cy had done to him over the years. "Truth or Dare, man?"

"…Truth…" Cyborg replied hesitantly.

"Okay then…" BB said, starting up the thinking process all over again. "Which one is it, dude?"

"W-what're ya' talkin' about, man?" Cyborg asked, fully aware of BB's meaning.

"Jynx or Bee. Who's it gonna be?"

Jynx and Bumblebee both eyed Cyborg expectantly and he squirmed uncomfortably. "Ummm… I honestly don't know, man…" he finally said honestly.

"Well, you **actually** have **three** choices" BB said, smiling mischievously. "Jynx… Bee… or… both… who'll it be?"

Cyborg thought about his new option and sighed in defeat. "… I can't really pick… so… both…"

Jynx and Bumblebee looked at eachother… and shrugged dismissively. "Whatever" they both said at once.

Everyone stared in slightly twitchy shock. "Wha-" was all Terra could get out before the two girls continued.

"I've always wanted to try out a threesome!" both shouted at once, smiling and giggling at each other.

The stares continued, but Cyborg was able to use his multitasking upgrade to spin the bottle as well.

It landed on Raven, getting her attention, as well as that of all the other participants… except for the still unconscious Aquafag.

Regaining her stoic façade, Raven simply said "Dare" obviously unwilling to give away anything about her past.

"I dare you to use three spells that you've never used before" Cyborg said, deciding to use this dare as a way to get to know the dark girl, no matter what.

"You're kidding me… aren't you?" Raven asked, fully aware that he wasn't.

He just shook his head. With a sigh, Raven began to figure out which spells to use. The first came to mind and she actually smiled at the idea. "One condition" she said quickly, just before starting.

"Sure, what?"

"I will cast two of them now, and the last one after this game" Raven replied, eyeing Beast Boy in a way that made him uncomfortable.

Cyborg nodded, accepting the seemingly pointless terms and Raven began to cast her first spell.

After chanting in Azarathian for a short while, Raven opened her palm, facing in the direction of the unconscious Aquafag. Nothing happened for a bit. Then, he began to moan in his sleep, his cock suddenly fully erect all over again. He spread his legs and began moving his backside in a rapid up-and-down motion.

"What did you do to him?" BB asked, concerned.

"I brought his greatest sexual fantasy to the very front of his subconscious mind, allowing him to access it completely in his slumber" Raven replied mater-of-factly.

"And… that means…?" Terra asked, eyeing the sleep-humping boy strangely.

"I'm giving him the best sexual dream of his entire life" Raven replied, smiling maliciously at Terra as if saying 'I'm better than you in so many ways!'

Raven quickly began to think of the next spell for her to use.

**A/N: **Hey, I know I said… a lot of things, but I'm really sorry. First of all, I realize that I was supposed to update on Friday, but some unexpected things came up, and this update is arriving during the first hour of Saturday, and I'm extremely soory.

Also, I may have said that "**Truth or Dare**" would be finished this chapter, but I just had to leave it where it was… mostly since I don't know what ot make Raven's second spell do. If any of you guys have any suggestions, I'll probably take them to heart. The only rule I have is that it can't be cast on BB. That one's coming later…

Once again, I'm extremely sorry and I hope you can forgive me. But, I must remind you that nobody's perfect. So, I'm very sorry about that.

**P.S. **I will attempt to keep an up-to-date rundown on when my next updates should be, as well as possible new fics. I will try to keep true to this listing. So, if you're wondering anything about the progress of any of my fics, don't hesitate to check out my Author's Profile. That's where the rundown is if you haven't figured it out yet. So, check it out. I apologize in advance if I fail to keep up with my own expectations. Consider my disappointment with myself to be punishment enough. I'm quite hard on myself when I mess up. You can trust me on that!

Signed,

The Cheese!


	5. Chapter 4: Truth or Dare Part 3

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**5. Chapter 4: Truth or Dare(Pt. 3)**

**A/N: **Hey, I apologize for any hurt feelings from my review replies, but I feel that blunt honesty is the only way. Oddly enough, that's the only thing I have in common with Raven… other than the ability to-nevermind!

By the way, I would appreciate it if my readers could refrain from bashing **any** characters, unless they can assure me that it's all good natured. Thank you.

Raven suddenly grinned in a rather Beast Boy-like way, sending shivers up the spines of most of the other Titans. She began to chant once again. Suddenly, there was a burst of tie-dye energy which expanded from Raven in all directions.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!" Beast Boy shouted as he found the nacho hat upon his head. "Duuuuuuuuuude" he repeated, slightly less dramatically upon noticing the same upon the heads of the other Titans.

"Nacho hats…?" Cyborg asked confused. "Why… nacho hats?"

"I'm drunk" Raven replied calmly and collectedly before letting out a small giggle.

"I rather enjoy friend Raven when she is under the influence of alcohol" Starfire whispered into Robin's head, him nodding in agreement.

"Wait" Cyborg said, looking oddly at his hand.

"What's up, Sparky?" Bee asked, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

"How can we have nacho hats… **without more bear**?" With that, he leapt to his feet and ran into the kitchen.

When he returned, he had eight gigantic mugs balanced in his hands. He ran over to where the keg is and filled one of the glasses. He handed it to Robin who was closest, saying "Pass it around, Robfire!" He was obviously referring to Robin's dare-induced attire.

With a shrug, Robin began to pass the highly alcoholic beverages around the circle, Cyborg handing him mugs as they filled, until everybody had one and he sat down with his own.

"So, who's turn, now?" BB asked, taking a long gulp of his bear.

"Mine" Raven said, spinning the bottle absentmindedly.

It landed on Jynx, who said "Truth" before Raven could even ask. The girl did not want to know what the gothic Titan could have in store for her as a dare.

"Good…" Raven said, smirking evilly. "Is that hair natural, or did you just get it dyed?" Raven asked, sounding positively… Starfire-like in the process.

Jynx stared, unsure as to what just happened, before finally responding. "The H.I.V.E. academy would never allow one of its students dye their hair" she said avoiding the question.

"You're avoiding the question" Raven said, reading that last line I wrote.

"Shit" Jynx muttered under her breath. "It's dyed…"

"But, you said-" Cyborg started.

"I was **not** one of Brother Blood's mindless drones! I had a certain sense of independence!" she shouted, briefly losing her temper. She took a deep breath and returned to her normal, playful self.

"My turn" she said, showing off her strangely cat-like grin as she spun.

Beast Boy swallowed audibly when the bottle landed on him… **yet again**!

"Truth or Dare" Jynx asked, somewhat disappointed by who it had landed on. She honestly had no grudge against the changeling, and hence, had no particularly bad intentions.

"Dare…" he sighed, somewhat afraid of what anger the ex-H.I.V.E. member would invoke upon him.

Jynx's expression suddenly changed from lackluster to as un-luster-lacking as possibly while shitfaced.

"I dare you to… kiss Raven!" she said, virtually shouting the last part.

"That's it?" Raven asked incredulously.. "That's your payback?"

"True…" Jynx said, becoming thoughtful. "Fine. Kiss Raven… in the form of any animal you choose."

Beast Boy was about to say "But, humans are technically animals, too" but only got out "But, hu-"

"Don't even try it" Jynx replied, retaining an appearance of perfect calm.

With a sigh, Beast Boy crawled to the other side of the circle, only stopping shortly as Terra shouted "You're actually gonna kiss… her?"

He just turned back and nodded smugly, suddenly noticing how possessive Terra's been since returning. "Totally."

"Raven suddenly looked quite pleased. Beast Boy brought himself face-to-face with her and asked "Do you want this?"

"It'll be kinda sad to be kissed for the first time by some kind of animal" she responded. "But, I guess that isn't really avoidable when the kiss's comin' from you."

Beast Boy actually smiled a bit at that one. "Good one."

"Just do me a favor and make it some sort of canine" Raven said quietly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounded very kinky, Rae."

"You're wrong" she deadpanned. "Dogs have the cleanest mouths in the animal kingdom."

Beast Boy could only chuckle and scrath the back of his neck at that one. "Right…"

"Just do it already!" Jynx shouted exuberantly.

Smiling slyly at Raven, BB transformed into a green wolf. Due to his pre-transformation facial expression, he now looked absolutely horrifying, seemingly showing off his sharp fangs.

Any normal girl would've run away screaming, or at least backed up in surprise. But, this was no normal girl.

This was Raven Roth.

Grinning back, Raven pulled his face towards hers, forcing their lips together with possibly bruising force. At first, they just stayed like that, their lips pressed together.

Then, everybody groaned as they saw BB's lips part slightly as Raven's tongue could be seen entering his mouth.

"Okay…" Jynx said hesitantly. "Y-you can s-st-stop now!"

But they didn't. Raven explored BB's currently oddly shaped mouth and he quickly pushed his particularly long tongue into her mouth, almost gagging her. But, they recovered and began a little game of tongue wrestling, battling for dominance over the other's mouth. Beast Boy would've won easily, due to the great strength of his canine tongue, but Raven surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck. He quickly recovered and, ignoring his minor loss, wrapped his front legs around Raven's waist.

The others just continued to groan, except now for Terra and Starfire, each for completely different reasons. Starfire had stopped groaning as she found the spectacle honestly interesting. Terra stopped when she noticed how much force, energy, and… passion Beast Boy was putting into the kiss. He had never shown her even half the passion as he was showing Raven right then.

Suddenly, Aqualad came from his sleep humping and awoke… to find BB making out with Raven. "Dammit… guess I'll just have to settle for Speedy…" With that, he walked over the already open window and leaned forward out of it and fell in the same way as Speedy had less than an hour earlier.

Finally, the two had to pull away for air. They had been surviving on nose breathing when necessary, but that just wouldn't suffice anymore.

"So…?" Jynx asked hesitantly.

Beast Boy reverted to human form. He and Raven each replied in unison. "It was… amazing…"

Terra couldn't take anymore and just ran from the room as to hide her tears from the others.

"Terra!" Beast Boy shouted, standing up to chase her.

Suddenly hopeful, Terra turned to face him, wiping away the tears that had fallen. "Yes, Beast Boy?"

"You were about to run out the window" he replied evenly. "Plus, we need to talk in pri-"

"We don't have anything to talk about" Terra said shortly. But, she forced herself to calm down and even smile slightly. "I understand. We were never… meant… to…" But, she couldn't continue. She burst into all-out tears and ran from the room(using a door this time).

"Well…" BB began, scratching the back of his neck.

"That was awkward…" Raven finished for him.

"Yeah" he replied quietly.

"Well… I think that game's over…" Cyborg said dissapointedly.

All the remaining Titans nodded in agreement… all the Titans except for Starfire.

Just finishing a massive gulp of alcohol, Starfire grinned at the green and purple Titans. "Congratulations friends!" She took another gigantic swallow and said "I believe that it is time to play one last game!"

Everybody stared at her, with one eyebrow raised, as she just smiled widely back at all her friends.

"Well…?" Raven asked impatiently.

"Well what?" Starfire asked, suddenly dropping her wide smile for a more confused expression.

"What game?" Raven clarified.

"Oh!" Starfire exclaimed. "I do not know. I just believe that we should play at least three games tonight."

"Why?" Raven asked, continuing to stare like all the others.

"On my planet, the number that you humans refer to as 'three' is considered an extremely lucky number" Starfire explained simply.

Cyborg, Bumblebee, and Jynx all exchanged glances before Jynx said "We've already got our 'three', so we're off to bed… all of us!"

With that, the three of them exited the room, leaving only four members.

"Seven Seconds in Heaven?" BB asked suddenly.

**A/N: **And, **Truth or Dare** is finally done! I apologize for not putting in the lemon I promised a few people. I misjudged something. This game was only meant to take up two chapters, but it's taken up three, so the lemon shall be in the next chapter…

I'm very sorry, but I'll be focusing mostly on "**Video Games Are Fun!**" for awhile, and won't be updating this for a bit. I'm really sorry. But, you **will** be getting updates from me, so don't fret.

**P.S. **You're all quite lucky actually. I said that I wouldn't update this fic if more than one person said "**Update soon**" in their review. I got at least three of them, and yet I still updated. Be careful though. I might not be so kind next time!

Signed,

The Cheese!


	6. Chapter 5: Seven Seconds in Heaven

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**6. Chapter 5: Seven "Seconds" in Heaven**

**A/N: **Okay! It is now officially time for the last game! Note the mistake in the chapter's name. You'll see…

This chapter is almost entirely made up of a long drawn out… and extremely horrifying… lemon scene. You can guess who it's between. Even if you tend to enjoy lemons, this is going to be some pretty hardcore stuff… for this particular site… so be warned.

"Seven Seconds in Heaven?" BB asked suddenly.

"Minutes" Starfire of all people corrected. Everybody looked at her as if she had just grown an extra head. "What?"

"H-how do you…?" Robin tried to ask, but just couldn't get out those last words.

"I have been watching the Law & Order and learn many phrases such as kike, homo-cide, as well as yiffing!" The staring continues…

"Right…" Raven finally says, deciding that further information would just make things worse.

"Well?" BB finally asked, also shaking off the strange moment.

"Well…?" Raven and Robin asked in unison.

"Seven **Minutes** in Heaven, anyone?"

With a sigh, Raven grabbed Beast Boy's wrist and dragged him towards one of the many closets around the common room. He looked up at her confusedly. "I know where you're going with that, and rather than go through an unnecessary amount of drama and annoyance, we might as well just get it over with."

"Oh Rae!" Beast Boy wined sarcastically. "Is this really that much of a burden for you?"

"Right now… yes, after another drink… probably not" she replied smoothly, ducking her head under the keg for a quick succession of gulps before continuing on.

"How 'bout now?" BB asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Now…" Raven began, wiping some dribble from her lip. "… I'm shit faced and you're looking really sexy."

"Do you think that friend Beast Boy shall remain unharmed?" Star asked in that way that she asks everything.

"No idea, Star…" was all Robin said in reply.

"Shall we follow after their example?" All this question managed to do is give Robin a nosebleed and create a small rip in the skirt that he currently adorned.

Upon entering the closet, Raven virtually fell to the floor of the closet, pulling Beast Boy down with her. Beast Boy used this to his advantage and purposely landed on top of her. With a quick twist of his arm, he had both of Raven's wrists grasped in one hand while the other hand was placed lightly on her cheek. He lowered his head to hers and kissed her quickly but passionately. "Now… that's our **real** first kiss…"

Raven actually chuckled at that, remembering that the only other time they had kissed was when Beast Boy was in wolf form. "And for that, I thank you."

BB's eyes went suddenly wide, followed by a wide smirk crossing over his face. "Y'know what, Rae?"

Raven was suddenly somewhat apprehensive. "…what?"

"You have no idea half the things I've thought about doing to… with you."

"You're talking to a half demon here" Raven replied with a smirk of her own. "Which reminds me!"

BB's grin was suddenly wiped from his face as possibilities rushed through his mind. "And, w-what might th-that be?"

"I still have to finish up Cyborg's dare, that's what" Raven replied, her smirk growing all the time. "Which spell… which spe-ooh!"

"Oh fu-" was all BB could get out before Raven phased her wrists directly through his fingers and slammed her now darkened hands onto either side of his head. However, the only result was a noticeable twitch from BB. "And… what was that supposed to accomplish?"

"Stand up" Raven said bluntly, but still smirking.

BB was about to raise his eyebrow and enter 'Snappy Comeback Mode", but found himself standing up entirely against his own will. "Wh-what the hell?"

Raven noticed the horrified expression on his face and, with a sigh, decided that she should put his mind at ease… at least a little. "Don't worry. That spell's kind of like… a demonic form of… S&M…?"

BB's eye actually twitched at the reference. "Rae?"

"Yeah?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but according to a particular game of 'I Never', both of us have been… screwed… against our own desires. Am I wrong on that one?"

"Nope!" Raven replied, giggling drunkenly.

"And, you're using a spell on me to control my body…"

"I could also be using it to tell you what to think, but I'm not that cruel" she said simply, acting insulted.

"It doesn't make sense!" he nearly shouted in his confusion.

Raven sighed once again and simply replied "It's purely for fun… how's 'bout we do this…?"

"Do what?"

"I'll give you a safety word… like they have in this dimension's form of S&M? Would that make you happy?"

"And… if I say this 'safety word', what'll you do?" BB asked suspiciously.

"I'll stop whatever I'm doing… or having you do."

Beast Boy started to contemplate this possibility, and couldn't help but find this whole situation rather hot himself. "Whatever… but could we call it seven minutes and-"

"Nope, we're staying right here" Raven replied energetically.

"… 'kay then…" BB finally said and looked down at his… beast. "Uh, Rae…?"

"Ooh, it's gettin' soft!" she exclaimed. "I know how to fix that!" With that, she pulled him back down to the ground, but grabbed his member with one of her hands which was glowing with her black energy.

BB was instantly… fully charged and ready to go. "J-just get going already!" he found himself shouting impatiently. If it weren't for the spell, he would've jumped her on the spot.

**A/N: **Okay, things are gonna get pretty bad right 'bout now…

"On your back" Raven said and BB's body moved to obey immediately.

Raven climbed on top of him as he panted heatedly. She actually smiled lovingly down on him before beginning to suck on his neck at the base. He simply moaned in response. She kept up her work, but made a temporary connection with BB as to make a mental command. He began to moan louder, but also grabbed onto one of her breasts and began to work it with his fingers. Raven gasped slightly at the contact and accidentally bit down on BB's neck, leaving a slight mark.

"Okay… getting really creepy" BB said nervously.

"Shut up Beast Boy" was all she said as she pressed her lips against his, officially initiating a kiss for the first time in her life. This particular kiss was quick but heated and she pulled away with a whole new set of ideas.

Raven stood and, using her powers, phased through her leotard and cloak, sending them to the ground. "Wha-" was all Beast Boy could get out before Raven shooshed him, effectively stopping any further talk through the remainder of the event.

She laid herself down such that her legs were spread over Beast Boy's face. "You know what to do" was all she said, lowering her pussy towards the somewhat bothered boy, who just kept thinking _"Whatever happened to that whole 'safety word' thing?"_

His mouth opened, revealing an oddly cat-like tongue which he sent up inside of the girl above him. He began to play about, licking up juices and striking her clit every so often as Raven just moaned in pleasure.

After a particularly nice scrape over her inner walls, Raven pulled back just enough that Beast Boy couldn't reach. However, the spell was apparently much stronger than she had realized as when she pulled back, BB's face rose with her and followed her. Slowly but surely, she pulled back until she was on her back and BB still sucking and scraping her all the time. She suddenly shuttered as she came right into BB's mouth, him just keeping up the same motions.

In a moment of lucidity, Raven nearly shouted "Stop!", completely ceasing Beast Boy's actions.

At this point, BB was becoming increasingly agrivated. He was hard… really hard, and just wanted some for himself. Raven, as if by the grace of god, decided that it was now his turn.

"On your back… again" she said quietly. Without hesitation, BB moved so he was lying in the position mentioned. "Spread your legs a bit." He did that as well. "Your turn…"

That said, Raven leant over him and pulled the end of his cock into her mouth, personally pleased by the strange lack of pubic hair. She just assumed that it had something to do with his genes, like the green skin and pointy ears.

She began to swirl her tongue around his tip, which was rather filling all on its own. Slowly however, she began to bring more of it into her mouth until their wasn't any room left. And yet, only half of the massive length was in her mouth. _"Well, he'll just have to deal with that fact, won't he?"_

She was quickly becoming agitated at the lack of sound coming from Beast Boy, while he was simply lost in the pleasure and thus completely unaware of the fact that he was still silent.

Finally, unable to take anymore, Raven brought her head up to glare at him. "Why are you being so quiet?" All she got in return was a surprised and confused frown from Beast Boy. "Oh…" she sighed, suddenly understanding. "Start moaning."

The problem now solved, Raven pulled his length back into her mouth, as much as possible that is, and began to work it as best she could. This was made difficult as she had to deep throat him to even get this much in.

Quickly tiring of the process, Raven decided ot speed it up. She continued rolling her tongue around the parts she could reach, but started rubbing up one side with her hand repeatedly. His moaning only grew.

A few more strokes and suckles later, his entire length seemed to retract slightly. Confused, Raven began to pull back as well. But, she found herself with a mouth full of cum. Holding in a sputter, she tried to drink it down, but found it to be a little bitter.

She quickly started wondering if she broke Beast Boy or something as he just kept cumming over quite a long period of time. But finally, it was done.

Wiping her mouth, Raven pulled away and asked "What the hell happened there?" Beast Boy glared at her, simply moaning in response. "You can talk now…"

With a sigh, Beast Boy exercised his lips as to regain normal sensation in them. "It's the animal DNA. Most mammals cum for a lot longer than humans." Raven was about to climb on top of him, as to continue on with her new favorite hobby, but BB just kept talking. "You also might've noticed the lump near the base. That's called a knot and is meant to lock the male into the female after ma-"

"You can stop talking again" Raven said with a sigh, causing Beast Boy's lips to slam shut. "'Cause it's time for the real thing!"

"Oh, do you not just love the sound of mating, lover Robin?"

"Uhh…"

"Lover Robin?"

"I think I'd like it better if it was coming from us…"

"Ah yes! I nearly forgot! Shall we find our own closet?"

"Why not…"

**A/N: **Hey, sorry for not going all the way like I had promised. I decided that this chapter was long enough and took long enough to get in at that. So, you're just gonna have to wait a bit longer for the real lemon.

I apologize for the lack of emotion found in recent submissions to the site. I've been switching around the CD's I listen to while writing, and none have been as inspirational as Audioslave. Everybody has their own thing that helps them write, and my thing is Audioslave! Nothing better under the sun… in my opinion.

Signed,

The Cheese!


	7. Chapter 6: Seven MINUTES in Heaven

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**7. Chapter 6: Seven MINUTES in Heaven**

**A/N: **Okay! The results are in! Prepare yourselves for the most disturbing lemon you'll read in a one week period of time!

**WARNING: **Strange and most likely comedic lemon ahead!

"You can stop talking again" Raven said with a sigh, causing Beast Boy's lips to slam shut. "'Cause it's time for the real thing!"

The thought running through BB's head at this point was something along the lines of _"Note to self; Be careful what you wish for…"_

His thought processes were interrupted, however, by a pair of legs strattling his waist. "I gotta hurry" Raven said just loud enough for BB to hear. "I think I'm sobering."

BB suddenly felt a bit anxious. As… odd… as his situation was, he was finding it oddly arousing. He just hoped that she wouldn't go too far. _"Oh, who am I kidding?"_

With that, he found a mouth pressed firmly against his as a hand began to play fumble around in his hair. After a few seconds, Raven pulled away just long enough to say "Get ready."

In response, Beast Boy's body moved into a position with his legs spread, his hands on Raven's hips and his back slightly arched. "By the way" she began with a smirk. "You can make noises… just… no more National Geographic…"

Raven began to lower herself, but just couldn't figure out what to do with what she had. "Dammit…"

"What's up?" BB asked, seeing the slightly disappointed expression on her face.

"I… i… don't… quite know… what… I'm supposed to… do…"

"Can I try?"

"What makes you think you'll do any better?" Raven asked somewhat mockingly in an obvious attempt to save her own ego.

"Y'know… ye' old animal instincts 'n' all…"

With a frustrated sigh, Raven laid back and said "Fine then, get started."

Beast Boy was about to respond with "Impatiant, aren't we?" but only got as far as "Impa-" as he was reminded, quite rudely at that, of Raven's little spell. His body jumped quickly on top of Raven and he effortlessly strattled her hips. He then, completely against his own will plunged right in… not that he would've done anything different in any other situation.

His first thrust was only able to bury him halfway. "Damn that's tight!" he called out loud enough for all the occupants of the tower to hear; including a particularly depressed and still flat-chested blonde.

After a slight pause, he pulled back slightly before thrusting again, burying nearly the entirety of his green-eyed monster into the tight little opening that Raven called "Rosario", as Beast Boy was to learn slightly less than two days later. Raven was the one moaning at this point as BB seemed to enter a state of extreme concentration.

He found pulling out far less difficult than the original entrance and did so until only his tip was inside. He then thrust in once more, effectively burying the entirety of his length into a woman for the first time in his life. Fleetingly, he decided that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

He was proven wrong quite quickly however, as his body began to act on the spell once more. His waist began to move up and down of its own accord, and this by the most obvious chain reaction in history, caused him to be thrusting in and out of "Rosario."

In a breathy and distant voice, Raven said "Faster" and Beast Boy's loins obeyed. She repeated herself again, and once again his pace was increased. After only two demands, he was pounding into her at speeds thought to be impossible. Apparently, things are only impossible when self-preservation was added intot he equation.

His waist was moving so quickly that he thought it would disconnect from his torso at any moment. But, it just kept going, and remained firmly attached. Of course, burning muscles and the king of all leg cramps weren't the only experiences of the moment for him.

As Raven felt herself being pounded in a way that would've pained any normal human, but only pleased her demonic side all the more, Beast Boy felt the most powerful climax of his life forming. The knot was sweeling quickly and larger than normal, and during one of his random thrusts, was pressed into Raven, effectively locking him into place. But, due to the spell, he kept moving up and down, moving Raven with him now that they were stuck. The motion and tightness caused Raven to moan in possibly even more pleasure… until finally… FINALLY… she came, effectively creating just the extra sensation needed the bring about BB's climax.

With a rather animalistic growl, he came… and came… and came…

Raven just laid there, enjoying the sensation of her inner walls being washed by Beast Boy's seed. Finally, the cascade died down and the two collapsed flat to the ground, panting and stuck in the afterglow.

"Wow…" was all Raven could think to say as she slowly drifted to sleep, Beast Boy still firmly rooted inside of her.

"Yeah…" Beast Boy whispered, closing his eyes as to join her in the darkness of slumber.

Little did either of them know that another couple had just copied them down to the very detail… minus the spell that is…

"Glorious…" Starfire mumbled to herself, falling into that wonderous place between consciousness and sleep. Silently, Robin rolled off of her and laid comfortably next to her.

"Ferschizzle…" he muttered absentmindedly.

'Beep-beep-beep'

Slowly, he reached down to his belt but found that it wasn't there. He found his communicator laying, and beeping, exactly two feet from his face. Reaching for it and activating it, he looked at the screen.

On the screen was Cyborg, who stopped Robin from saying anything with a simple "No" before breaking the connection and leaving Robin alone once more.

Deep in the very bowels of hell(not Mexico), a massive red demon with four glowing eyes laughed evilly to himself. "Yes, everything is going perfectly to plan!"

"What plan?" asked a horrible abomination of all the laws of physics, anatomy and fashion laws… with a comedically high pitched voice.

"The plan to get my daughter pregnant so that my blood could continue, allowing me more chances to be reborn."

"You realize that you could only use Raven after placing your essence into her personally?"

"Yeah, so?"

"How, might I ask, do you intend to do that with your grandchild when… well… y'know…"

"Oh…" Trigon muttered to himself, entering a slightly thoughtful position. "Well… this sucks…"

The abomination approached Trigon from behind and wrapped its arms around his massive red hips. "It's okay honey. You still got me."

"Trigon was about to turn to face the creature when a loud 'ding' was heard With a sudden wide grin, Trigon shouted "Ooh! The roast's done!"

With that, he pranced off towards the oven to retrieve previously mentioned 'roast.'

**A/N: **Okay, that was by far the strangest thing I've ever written. I apologize if you fear me now… wait… no I don't! I am the Cheese of Evil! Fear me!

Okay then…

Well, the next chapter's the last one. It's gonna show the after affects of the previous night and stuff like that. Expect it to be pretty short. Sorry 'bout that in advance.

Signed,

The Cheese!


	8. Epilogue: The Day After

**Why Superheroes Shouldn't Drink**

**8. Epilogue: The Morning After**

**A/N: **Okay, people! This is the last chapter of the fic and is meant to wrap up a couple loose ends and show you why the story isn't entitled **"Why Superheroes SHOULD Drink." **Have fun!

Looking over the vast bay which surrounded the island of Titan's Tower, we can see the first rays of light rising above the horizon. Said light reveals the nude and precariously placed forms of Speedy and Aquafa-lad intwined in each other's grips.

As the sun rises higher, it shines through the wall of windows into the infamous common room, where normally one would find superpowered teens going about their superpowered lives in a perfectly superpowered style. At this particular moment, however, not a soul could be found in the massive room… unless you count the insectoid souls that inhabit the bodies of the flies that swarmed around the stale nacho hats and (likely) regurgitated alcoholic beverages.

However, if one were to peer into two of the many closets around the room, you would find two more precariously entangled couples, one of a black-haired man and a positively shiny Tamaranian, and the other of a green boy and pale girl. These are only two more relationships that began due to a simple keg party.

As the sun rises nearly to its highest point, it shines through the windows of the upper stories. However, at this time, we are only concerned with the windows of two rooms. One room contains a group of three remarkable young adults, wrapped around each other in the most unremarkable way possible. The other room, however, was nearly completely cleared out excepting a stripped bed, an emptied dresser, and a desk bear of all but a single sticky note.

This sticky note in question was perfectly satisfied with its purpose in existence, which just happened to be the most convenient piece of paper to be used as a letter of transfer from the team of Titans West to the more newly developed Titans South.

The note was a simple one which read as follows;

Hey guys,

I'm really sorry, but I need a break. BB has finally decided to move on, and I need to be away from him so I can do the same. Because of this, I'm going to join temporarily with Titans South. I've found out that they're an all male team except for Argent, who's obviously a lesbian. To be completely honest, I've been wondering what it'd be like to be sandwiched between Wildebeest and Pantha.

Your friend,

Terra

Leaving this depressing chamber, we move to the roof of Titan's Tower, where we see one last extraordinary teen watching the sunrise with a pair of suitcases at her sides. She takes one last look back before saying "I'll get you back Beast Boy… if it kills me…"

And with that, she used a chunk of the roof to fly off into the sunrise, even though it was nearly the polar opposite direction of which she had been planning to go…

**A/N: **Is it just me, or does that simply **_scream_** sequel? I think it does, which is why I'm gonna write one. Hey, I think I actually need these secondary fics to keep my writer's block from screwing with the primary fic… which doesn't seem to be working… oh well!

To all of you who asked about my **"Video Games Are Fun!"** lemon, and its degree of similarity to the one in this fic; it will be very different, especially since it won't be happening until the second or even third installment. It will be far closer to the average boring minded, missionary position, drab lemon that everybody writes. I'm extremely kinky, and can't stand following the crowd to such a degree that I'm original simply out of spite.

Tell me what you thought! Was this a good fic? Was it funny? Was this final chapter as good a mixture of poetic and funny as I thought? Do I actually suck as much as my friends think I do? **_TELL ME!_**

Signed,

The Cheese!


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